Every now and again, our gaffer Phil asks – nay, demands – that instead of ignoring each other all day and muttering muted goodbyes at 5pm before heading home, we shall go out together, as a team, for some forced staff bonding – and what’s more, we’d better ruddy well enjoy it.
From a pool of around ten, we managed to convince a plucky five to join us on our latest excursion – a game of decidedly crazy (*tongue-out, one eye closed emoji*) crazy golf at Golf Fang. More fool the ones who made their feeble excuses, though, as they missed out on a fun-filled evening and even a few rounds on the company card.
I get it – when you hear ‘crazy golf’, you’re possibly thinking of putting around puddles and discarded tinnies on Skeggy Esplanade. Or perhaps you’re imagining one of those indoor family activity centres filled with screaming children pepped to the eyes on e-numbers and parents teetering on the brink of tears, or possibly divorce.
But Golf Fang is different. For a start, it’s adults-only with a fully licensed bar, street food and DJs to keep the vibe going and make it feel like a proper night out. Secondly, it’s genuinely a space to ogle – a 38,000 sq ft warehouse decked out with graffiti, an in-house arcade and holes themed from Jeremy Kyle sets to sex shops (oo-er).
There are draught beers and non-alcos available but seeing as we don’t get out much, we went for the cocktails and were swiftly furnished with Lethal Drizzles, Nuthin’ But a G Things and Golfers Paradises to settle the pre-match nerves.
Whether they settled us a little too much is perhaps worth questioning, as some of the golf on show was, frankly, quite embarrassing. Over a course of 18 holes, the ball left the assigned perimeters on multiple occasions (actually quite difficult to do) and Holly had a minor breakdown on the plane fuselage hole.
The place has been meticulously designed with sneaky obstacles and surprise ramps, meaning even those of us who play golf like it’s a contact sport can stay vaguely competitive. We finished up in under two hours before tallying scores and demolishing pizza from onsite kitchen Nothing Cheezy. Happy days.
In short: a cracking venue for groups, dates or your next ‘mandatory fun’ staff do. To anyone stuck playing behind the unLTD lot – we salute your patience. We’ll work on our short game before next time… honest.
