Over 9 million people in the UK – almost a fifth of the population – say they are always or often lonely (British Red Cross & Co-op, 2016). Enter B:friend; local South Yorkshire charity founded to address the growing issue of loneliness, particularly among the elderly…
B:friend was originally founded in Doncaster eight years ago, with the aim of reducing loneliness and isolation among older neighbours. Recognising that social interaction is integral to our health and wellbeing, b:friend’s focus is to foster community engagement and meaningful connections for older residents.
The charities concentration is on matching volunteer “b:frienders” with a socially isolated neighbour. They match individuals based on locality and compatibility, with each b:friender and their older neighbour receiving regular support from a Befriending Coordinator to ensure they’re both benefitting from the project.
With a commitment of 1 hour per week, volunteers can stop in on their neighbour for a cuppa after work, with the endgame of their pairing being that both parties spark a true and genuine connection. Eventually the coordinator steps back having played their part in matchmaking and combatting loneliness for both individuals.
One of the b:friend’s core values is being fun and bold and this is often illustrative in the events, exhibitions and projects they organise. On top of the volunteer b:friending service, the charity also organise 16 diverse weekly social clubs all over Derbyshire, Sheffield and Doncaster.
Sara Kopecsni, Senior Communications Officer at b:friend told unLTD: “It’s our motto that no two weeks at the social clubs are the same. It’s always fun and interactive, we can be doing anything from Zumba, to tattoo design, or mocktail making or yoga. We bring people together to move their body and their mind.”
The social clubs encourage older residents to connect and share their stories, skills and experiences. Sara continues: “Once a month we host ‘Armchair Travels’, where we learn all about another country through games and snacks, these sessions are really popular”.
Since its inception, the charity has expanded across South Yorkshire, NE Derbyshire and mid-Nottinghamshire and engage over 1,000 older adults weekly in their grassroots initiatives. Last year, Rotherham-based energy supplier, Dyce Energy, supported b:friend as the company’s ‘Charity of the Year’ through volunteering and various fundraising activities.
And it’s not just the elderly that get lonely, we all need meaningful connections in our lives and there is power in intergenerational friendships. This was the case of volunteer b:friender and Account Manager Shane Wilson-Watts and his neighbour, retired Chef Susan Scott, both from Chesterfield, who unLTD’s Holly Dibden spoke to all about their b:friending experience and ongoing friendship…
How did you both first hear about b:friend?
Shaun: I heard about b:friend on Facebook and saw an advert looking for volunteers to help combat loneliness amongst the elderly.
Susan: I went to the doctors to have my annual review, and I was asked if I was lonely. The doctor asked if I would be interested in a weekly visit to check in on me and have a chat and I agreed.
What were the main motivations behind you both reaching out to the charity?
Shaun: I had recently lost my grandma who I was very close with. I felt a massive loss and thought I would give it a try.
Susan: I had recently lost my husband who I’d been with for 58 years. I had tried a Samaritans group, but it wasn’t the right fit for me.
How quickly were the two of you matched and how was the whole process?
Shane: When I enquired about the volunteering, I got a phone call pretty much straight away to talk about the how everything worked. I then had to set up a video call with my local case worker to talk about my interests and what I wanted to get out of the arrangement. We spoke in depth, and she said there’s was someone just around the corner!
Susan: I got a phone call from the representative, following the referral from my doctors and they explained I had a match.
Shaun: I was asked to arrive at Susan’s house at a certain time where the b:friend representative would already be there to introduce us.
Did you get on really well from the start?
Shaun: Well, the representative stayed with us for around half an hour before she said felt comfortable enough to leave us – so I guess you could say we hit it off from the start! We were both nervous about initially meeting. Lots of questions ran through my head. Would we get on? Will she like me? Will we accept each other? Have I made a mistake? Is this for me? It was nerve-wracking for sure.
Susan: We hit it off from the start. I have to say I was a little surprised to hear I was being paired with a male; however, we have become such good friends.
How often do you meet and what kind of things do you like to do together?
Shaun: We meet every week without fail. We text daily and speak on the phone. We go out for meals. I pick up shopping if she needs anything or I’ll do things round the house. We talk about everything and anything. We talk about what’s on tv and everything in between. I love listening to her stories about weightlifting and when she was regional champion at Badminton.
Susan: I look forward to seeing Shaun every week, it has hugely enriched my life and made my life happy again. I’d been in my own little world, and I’ve come out of it, and it’s different, and it’s nice.
Any key memories/experiences together you’d like to share?
Shaun: Our relationship is something that we are both grateful for. We go to pantomime every year now it’s a tradition. Susan has even come to see my partner in Max in drag. I have also been to her family members at Christmas, and she has met my family – they all get along so well!
Would you recommend b:friend to others?
Shaun: I would recommend b:friend to anyone and do often! It’s a great thing to do and it makes me feel fulfilled.
Susan: I tell everyone who will listen to give it a go and don’t be scared!
- Loneliness, living alone and poor social connections are as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Holt-Lunstad, 2010
- 3.9 million older people in the UK say the television is their main company. Age UK, 2018
- Loneliness increases the likelihood of mortality by 26% – Holt-Lunstad, 2015
If you want to volunteer, refer someone or donate, visit letsbfriend.org.uk or call 07523698530.
