I mentioned in the first article I wrote in this series that as a child, due to almost dying as an infant, I was doted on and generally got whatever I wanted.
This all changed when my grandfather died. Aside from everything else, he was the financial foundation for his three daughters.
Suddenly when I asked mum for something, “We can’t afford it” became commonplace.
“I want to live in a world where money doesn’t determine what I do,” came the child’s wisdom from within me. It was, obviously, that simple.
Over the coming years, things got more difficult until my family decided to sell their petrol station just before the oil crisis in 1973, the money from the sale meant things got better. Until my stepfather died at 43, which made things worse again.
My partner’s parents invited me across to Italy whilst I was in college. My mum, naturally, said we couldn’t afford it. Even though I had a part-time job at that point already, I got a job as a glass collector four nights a week, 9pm to 2am, so I could be able to go (which may have had a material impact on my studies!).
Fast forward to the years running a chartered accountancy practice, it may surprise you to learn that I never budgeted for my personal life. If I was earning more than I was spending, that was enough planning. I was happy to borrow money as I was always confident I could pay it back. I finally lived in a world where money didn’t determine what I did. It just… took a little more effort than wishful thinking.
Fast forward further, I’m attending a session called My Relationship with Money, where I meet a lady called Sue Cheshire. First, we’re instructed to put any money we had on us into a big pile in the middle of the room. It was impossible to tell really who had put what in, though individually you’re aware of what you’ve put in.
We began discussing our relationship, emotional and otherwise, with money. Towards the end of the session, Sue declared all the money in the middle of the room is being donated to charity – the expression on people’s faces! Up to that point, the debates were theoretical, but the idea of losing the money revealed genuine emotions – some even became angry.
Sue then revealed it would only go to charity with their consent, highlighting our complicated emotional attachment to money. Especially as, at that point, people didn’t want to be seen as saying no… when they had a choice.
But ultimately, like my grandfather’s and my stepdad’s unexpected passing, life throws us money curveballs we can’t always anticipate or choose. Understanding our relationship with money can help navigate these difficult times with more clarity. I know people with liberal relationships with money and I have had many experiences where invoicing people is like trying to draw blood from a stone. Ultimately, we all face the same truth: we can’t take it with us. Yet, our relationship with money shapes what we can achieve and how we feel about it.
How do you approach money? Does it empower you—or does it hold you back?
If you’re curious to explore how understanding yourself can transform your business, come for a free taster session at Peer2Peer. Book your place by email at steve.knowles@peer2peer.global
